I am embarrassed to say that I vividly remembered the feeling of the merging with the male etheric form to the tiniest detail, but I could not remember my personal message from The Arcturian. Was I that desperate for love that I would disrespect the message that was given me directly from an Arcturian? Fortunately, I did not ponder that question when I first awoke. I was too weak. My etheric form had stayed out of my body for too long, and my body was going into shock.
I experienced two realities at once. I felt my etheric body desperately trying to get back into my physical shell, and I also felt my weak, cold and semi-conscious physical form try to accept its spirit. I was not dreaming or even meditating. I had a high fever and my body was turning blue. I was barely breathing and I was very, very cold.
I pulled myself into a tight a ball and pushed against the rock in an urgent and futile attempt to find warmth. I kept loosing consciousness, coming back, than passing out again. It would soon be dark, and the nights were very cold here.
I don’t know if I was conscious or unconscious when I saw a beautiful Lady of Light. She was huge and looked as though she was made of clouds and stars. I called to her to help me as she floated towards me. I don’t know if the next memory was real or a hallucination, but she floated right past me and into the rock against which I was leaning.
Blessed warmth seemed to stream from where she entered the rock, and I heard a haunting lyrical tone in my mind. Some how I found the strength to crawl towards the place where the Light Being entered the rock. I was so weak that I had to hold on to the rock to stand up, but when I did so, I feel through a slit, or was it the vortex, and into a dark cave. It was warm, and I heard running water as I fell off to sleep.
I don’t know how long I slept, but I do remember stirring to drink some water, then go back to sleep. After a while, I discovered some fungus growing by the water. I brought a piece of it to my nose and lips and sensed that it was fine to eat. I took just a few bites, then fell back to sleep, completely full.
Finally, I woke up feeling restless and saw what looked like a beam a light. Holding on to the wall of the cave to rise and to walk, I followed the beam of light to its source, which was the mouth of the cave. The air was clear and warm, and I felt better than I had in a long time. I had almost forgotten my “dream, meditation and/or vision,” but I remembered that the planet was beautiful and fertile.
I dozed in the Sun until hunger stirred me to find some edible plants or roots. The water that ran through the cave gathered in a small pond that was surrounded by plants. I recognized several plants as edible and found my one remaining bowl, filled it with water and drank while I ate the plants. When it grew cold, I went back into the cave to sleep. I’m not sure how long I lived like this, for I was so deep within my self that I often did not note the passage of days.
I lived in the now of nature. I ate when I was hungry, drank when I was thirsty, moved when I was stiff and slept when I was tired. I was outside when the weather permitted and in the cave when it was cold, raining or dark. However, sometimes I stayed up very late or got up very early to memorize stars and constellations. Then, when I was stronger, I began to wander the land to map that, as well.
I grew healthier every day and sleep soundly every night. My dreams were very vivid, but I usually forgot them in the light of day. I did not try to hold them in my memory. In fact, I did not “try” to DO anything. I lived with the land, looked up into the sky, soaked in the pond and rummaged for food. On day I found two rocks that created a spark when struck again each other, and I was able to make a fire.
In order for me to move forward into my greater expression of self, I went backward into the primitive elements of survival. After a while, even the memory of my merging with the male was lost from my memory. I could not think about what had happened before or what would happen next. I lived every breath in calm serenity. I think I could have lived my entire life that way, until I met him.
I had traveled very far that day and had found a wonderful lake with a waterfall and a lovely place to dive into the deep water. After my small pond, it was exhilarating to dive, swim and stand beneath the waterfall. I was having such a delightful time that I did not notice that night was approaching. Finally, I looked up and realized that I must hurry back to the cave. I climbed out of the water and was walking quickly toward the direction of my cave when I ran directly into someone.
I could not see his face in the dim light, but I knew instantly that it was him. It was the male with whom I had merged in the cave. But now he was physical, and so was I.
When we return, Mytre will speak of his early awakening.
“Where have your been?” I spoke gruffly, perhaps to cover up the intensity of emotion that I felt at her very touch. “Your friends are concerned for you and sent me to find you.” I said in a softer voice.
“How do you know that I am the one you seek?” she replied with a resonance in her voice that instantly calmed my demeanor.
“I am sorry I was so gruff with you. It is just that I have been searching for you such a very long time. How did you get lost way out here?”
“I am not lost. I live close by.”
“Live?” I said trying to control my intense emotions. “There is no where to live out here.”
“Follow me,” she said. “I will show you my home.”
She walked away, and I followed her without question. We walked through almost total darkness, but never hesitated. As I followed her strangely familiar form, I became more and more enchanted by her. Who was she? Why did I feel like I knew her? I had never had these feeling for anyone in my life, and I had barely seen her face.
We walked for quite a while in total silence, while I tried to contain my emotions and see in the darkness. The moons had not come up yet and the sky was hazy, yet her every step was sure as if she had made this journey many times. Meanwhile, I was trying to maintain my dignity and not trip or fall. I, who took such pride in being a leader, followed her every footstep.
As if timed by some unseen source, the moons came up just as we came around a huge rock and entered a small area filled with flowers, plants, a small pond and even flat rocks that were arranged like chairs. How did she move those rocks? However, I said nothing. I did not want to embarrass myself again by speaking rashly. However, obviously, she was NOT lost, and I had greatly misjudged her.
“It is getting cold now. Would you like to come inside?” she said as if she totally trusted me.
“Ahh, yes,” I stammered in a very undignified manner.
“Let me start a fire, so you can see inside,” she said as she moved to a collection of rocks that created a small fire pit just outside the cave in a small, sheltered area. She collected some kindling and what looked like moss, struck two stones together, and instantly a small flame ignited the kindling. She had obviously lit this fire many times. Then she took, what looked like a grid and placed it onto the rocks.
“I will make some tea to warm us.” She easily said.
“You have tea?” I said in a rudely, surprised manner.
“Oh yes,” she said as she guided me into the cave where I saw many herbs hanging upside down to dry.
“Where did you find these?” I asked, again in a voice that was too surprised.
She ignored my rude behavior and turned towards me to reply. However, when our eyes met in the flickering light, neither one of us could speak for what seemed to be forever. It was she who spoke first.
“I know you,” she said without any shyness.
“Yes.” was all I could say. I did know her, but I also knew I had never met her.
She turned again and chose some herbs, broke them up, put them into a small metal pan. She filled the pan with water from the clear creak the trickled through the cave and placed the pan on the grid.
“Would you like honey?” she said.
“You have honey?”
She smiled in response to my question.
“Ahh, sure.” I stammered again.
Rather than embarrass myself further, I looked around the small cave to get my bearings and to calm down. I could not believe my eyes. She had, indeed, created a home here, and she appeared to be alone.
“Do you live alone here?”
“Oh no! I am not alone. I live with Nature.”
I glanced around her home again. Off to the right I saw what was likely her begging. It looked old and well used.
“Yes, I see that you do. I am sorry for my rudeness. I have greatly underestimated you. I expected to find you, wounded, or worse, and in great danger. Instead, I see that you have created a lovely home. How did you do all this?”
“I asked the Great Mother for help.” She said, as if I would know what that meant.
“The Great Mother?”
“Yes, you know the Elohim Alcyone whom we met in the Core.”
“But, that was just a dream. How could you know about my dream?”
In fact, I was quite surprised that the “dream” instantly returned to my memory.
She chose to completely ignore my question and turned to create a small meal comprised of food that I had never seen. She took two half-gourds, which she used for plates and guided me to a small ledge. In front of the ledge with a small table made of intertwined twigs that served as a table.
In complete amazement, I sat where she indicated and silently watched while she put the plates on the “table” and went to gather the tea.
“I am afraid I only have one cup. Do you mind if we share?”
I silently nodded my head in amazement, as she handed me the tea.
“Oh,” she said as she walked over to another ledge where she had a small metal container. She brought it back and offered it to me saying,
“Would you like some of this honey?”
Again I silently nodded, as she poured a small amount of the sweet liquid into the steaming tea.
“Please eat,” she said and offered me my plate.
“I don’t want to be rude,” I said—to late—as I had already been incredibly rude, “but how did you know that these plants are not poisonous?”
“They told me.” She simply replied.
“Uh, how did they tell you?” I questioned.
“I merely smelled them and placed them on my heart. If they were poisonous, I felt fear, and if they were nutritious, I felt love.”
“But wasn’t that dangerous? What if you were wrong?”
“I trusted my self, and I trusted Nature.”
I said nothing more. I shared the delicious tea and ate the tasty plants. I guess if she could trust me enough to bring me into her home, I could trust her enough to eat her food. Trust? I pondered that concept, as I tried to think of the last time that I had trusted anyone.
Mytria’s awakening happened before we met, whereas my awakening started that evening. Everything that had been important in my life seemed unimportant compared to the simple peace that she shared with me that first night. I had been driven by ambition and trusted no one in my struggle to become a leader and Protector in our new world.
Interestingly, so many people trusted me, but I trusted no one. However, I did trust her. I ate her possibly poisonous food and drank her tea of an unknown “herb” without hesitation. In fact, as I sat on that small ledge, I knew that my life had changed forever. I would never be the same person again, which was a good thing. I had not been too fond of myself lately.
As if reading my mind, she looked into my eyes and said, “I was nearly dead when I came here. The Mother has healed me and has given me a wonderful life.”
She then took the plates and our one-cup and went outside to wash them. I said nothing, and didn’t even offer to help her. I had come here to save her, but it was apparent that it was she who would save me.
I, Mytre, will return to continue my story…
We slept together in the small alcove with her worn bedding. However, she had put something underneath it, and it was incredible warm and soft. She slept as sounding and sweetly as a baby. I, of course, slept very little at all. First, my mind would not stop. Everything that I had ever believed in, all the structure, lessons, discipline and obedience that I had grown up with had been revealed as the old paradigm for my past life.
As l lay there with her warm body next to mine, in fact, VERY close to mine, I knew that I was changed forever. I had no idea what I had changed into, but I was positive that the “me” I used to be had died a sudden death. As I lay in the warm, darkness with the sent of her body filling my heart, I reviewed my life. I was born to a military family. There was no choice as to what I would do. Of course, I would be a military person. It was our family’s legacy to protect our world, our way of life.
However, since we came to this planet, our reality had vastly changed. For the first time in my life, which was about 90 of your years, making me a young adult, I did not KNOW what my life would be. Before our people were able to “let our guard down” and feel safe in our new home, I had an important contribution. However, as I saw others settling down and totally changing their perspective on life, I held strongly to the indoctrination that I had had since birth.
Maybe I was a unique person, and maybe I could find a unique experience of life that was different from all the generations of our proud and brave heritage? That kind of thinking had been hidden in my brain since I was a small child. Since then, I had never allowed those thoughts to come to the surface. Then, I literally ran into a woman, experienced her entirely unique experience of life. It was than that those hidden, childhood thoughts began prying their way to the surface.
How could I possibly push aside all that I had stood for, all that I thought defined me a powerful man, and all that I thought I had loved? Now, in one very long night, I had become a totally different person. However, I did not know this new person, so I had no idea of who I was or what I would do. I only knew that I could not go back to our village in this state of confusion.
As if she had heard my thoughts, Mytria rolled over to face me with opened eyes and smiled. Now there was no question. Not only could I not return to a life that had become barren of meaning, I could not leave that smile.
Mytria quietly got up and started her small fire. I watched as she put water in her small pan to make OUR tea, then went outside, likely to wash. Without her next to me, I felt lonely. How could that be? I had just met her, but felt like we had always been together.
While she was gone, I went to my pack and got my communication device. However, it did not work here. Perhaps it is the cave, I thought as I rose to go outside to use it. Before she even turned around, she said, “Your device won’t work here. There is an etheric shield around this area, and no technology works here. Believe me, I tried.” When she turned toward me to continue speaking I experienced that same feeling of recognition and any doubts I had about staying vanished.
“You have decided to stay?”
“Do you always read my thought,” I said with a smile in my voice.
“Only when you are thinking about me,” she smiled in return. “Are you avoiding my question?”
“Yes,” I said. “I was thinking that I should ask you first.”
“Yes, I should ask you or yes I should stay?”
“Yes, I would love to get to know you and show you my world.”
“I will have to tell them that you are safe and I am not returning—yet.”
“Then you will destroy that device?”
I had not thought of making my decision so permanent, so unalterable, but I realized that the kind of change I was facing would take my total commitment.
“Would you like to help me find some eggs? I will ask the birds if they can surrender one for us.”
After we had eaten the surrendered eggs and more delicious plants, which she had seasoned with her unknown herbs, she showed me the portal out of the energy field and turned to go back to her home.
“Aren’t you going with me to make sure that I destroy the device?” I teasingly said.
“I trust you.” She said as she turned away.
Her trust was the most amazing part of my experience. Not only did she totally trust me, which she said was because she knew me, she also totally trusted Nature. She lived her every moment in unity with the planet and the flora and fauna which whom she shared her life. There was no differentiation between what was alive and what was thing. Everything, even a rock, was alive in her world.
I wanted to share her world, but my scientific mind rebelled at such novel thinking. I had never realized how indoctrinated I was until I tried to change my mind. On the other hand, my body showed no resistance to change. I quickly forgot about my uniform and only wore what I normally slept in. The weather was usually very warm in the day and cold at night, but our bed was always warm.
When it was not too cold, we would sleep outside and she would show me all the Star System she had found. I was able to fill in many of the official names, but I usually preferred her names for them. In the day, we took long walks so that she could show me all the territory she had mapped. I assisted her with that. There was a plant that grew by a nearby river, which she had learned to “beat” into a kind of paper and she would write on it with “ink” that was sap from a certain tree.
Other plants could be dried and woven into a cloth, of which she made me an amazingly comfortable garment. She also showed me where all the eatable plants where, as well as the source of her honey. She showed me how to be so still that a bird would land on my shoulder and so quiet that I could hear the beating of my heart.
Fortunately, I was not useless. I had the strength that she lacked and a few tools, which allowed us to make our home even more comfortable. Yes, it was OUR home. We lived in it as one person, sharing all chores without any conflict or duty. If something needed to be done, we did it. However, we had our specialties. If we needed something built or moved, I was called in. On the other hand, if we needed to consult the Mother, she was called in.
Then one day she told me that it was time for me become ONE with the Mother Planet. I told her that I had no idea how to do that, and quite frankly, I did not think the Mother wanted to become ONE with me.
“How can you say that?” she said in a shocked voice.
“I am not pure, like you. I have killed many beings and destroyed much land. I have been a warrior where the love that you speak of is a weakness and the trust that you hold is mere foolishness.”
“Do YOU feel that way?”
I had to think before I answered her. She deserved a true response, and I did not know my truth yet. Hence, all I could say was, “I did feel that way once, but that me is no-more. I don’t know this new me enough to answer your question. I do believe you, and I see the great strength that you have gained not by domination, but through surrender. However, I don’t think it is possible for me to connect with something as vague as the Great Mother.”
“You do not need to surrender to Her, for I am Her representative. Therefore, you can surrender to me. It is often that way with men. Their minds are filled with protection and duty. Only deep love with a woman can allow them to release their protections and totally surrender.”
“How did you know that I deeply love you? I don’t even think I knew it myself until you said the words.”
Without a word spoken, she took me into our cave to give me the “proof” I needed.
As we merged through our love making, our consciousness intermingled so deeply that I could feel how she communed with all life. With this feeling shared between us, she showed me how to touch the land to find water, to smell a plant and put it to my heart to determine if it was safe to eat, how to ask a bird to surrender an egg, how to read the weather long before it changed and how to look into my SELF.
“Your relationship with the Mother depends on your relationship with your SELF.” She told me again and again. At first, the relationship with my SELF could only come as a by-product of my relationship with her. I had never been taught to have a relationship with my SELF. I was taught to follow orders, fulfill my duty and obey my commanding officers. I had spent my life being the “effect” of an external “cause.” If I was successful in my endeavor, I was happy and proud of myself. If I failed in my duty, I was ashamed and angry with my self.
I had not heard of the “greater” or “higher” version of my SELF that Mytria spoke of. The only greater part of me would be my fellow warriors, and my higher self was my commanding officers. I lived on the outside of me. Inside of me were bones and blood and organs that somehow survived their myriad wounds. I had no concept of a spirit me, or the etheric me that Mytria said she merged within the Core. In fact, I had no concept of that experience other than it being a “sexy” dream.
However, I had finally trusted some one. I trusted Mytria absolutely and completely. I trusted that she could make my energies rise up from my spine into my heart, or even into my mind. However, I had no concept that I could accomplish this without her help. It was this concept that disturbed me greatly. Was I becoming hypnotized by someone who was showing me a vision of reality that could never be mine?
Again, she read my thoughts. “I think you have had enough for now. It is time for you to go on a vision quest.”
“A vision quest? What is that,” I said in an angry fashion. She has tired of being my teacher, as I had become weak in her eyes, I thought. This entire experience was a fantasy, an excuse to ignore my duties. What had I been thinking? How could I dare to be different than all the men in as many generations as I could count? A vision quest, HA, get out of my home is more like it.”
Mytria did not engage in my inner battle. She merely turned and went into the cave.